That Your Prayers May Not Be Hindered: A Discussion On The Husbands Role In Marriage
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Complementarianism, according to what the Bible teaches says that a wife, who finds her identity in Christ, is to submit to her husband alone. Not to his whims and desires, but to his spiritual authority and leadership. The husband then is commanded to love her like Christ, who did the will of God, not seeking His own comfort. The husband is to lead like Christ, in the form of a servant. Men and women are equally valued by God. How then are complementarians to view this passage?
With proper Hermeneutics. We need to look at what the rest of the chapter is saying and not pull this verse out of context. Paul is discussing salvation — that we are justified by faith in Christ, not by doing good works. In this verse, Paul is teaching that it is our faith in Christ that saves us, not our gender, not our social status. Also we can look through history and see a major change in the way culture views and treats women when the gospel is brought to the area.
India is a fantastic example: before the gospel, it was normal for the recently widowed woman to be burned along with her deceased husband.
This practice became much less common after the introduction of the gospel to the area. The Bible is clear: men and women are both completely and totally equal in regards to their worth. Our role does not indicate our worth, nor does being equal in worth require each participant to be a clone of one another.
Submission is not a dirty word. Nor does it indicate a belittling of the wife, or a loss of identity and individuality. We are both created Imago Dei, in the image of God. We are to value each as equally built as the image of God, equal heirs to the Kingdom, equally cherished by God. But the passage in Romans 12 is not discussing function or roles. Just value. We have to be equal in value and worth in order to work alongside one another in the great task God has set before us. Adam and Eve were commanded to work the land together. They both were given dominion over all that was created.
They were both commanded to be fruitful and multiply. Jointly, they were told to raise up children to worship God.
An army of God Worshippers. But in order to do this effectively, they had to each function slightly differently, but in a complementarian fashion.
Characteristics Of A Godly Marriage (1 Peter –7) | saibiretick.tk
Working together in this way, creates a beautiful harmony that in and of itself sings praises to God. Hupotasso is the word in Greek that means to submit. It is a military term that refers to rank oneself under. It is just a different position. It does not mean less in value. She is not to submit to anything outside of the realm of Scripture, nor is he to ask her to.
He is not to demand that she submit — that is outside if his realm of authority. Her submission is to be freely given.
Your adornment must not be merely external braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.
We can see that here in 1 Peter this family has a problem. The husband is in sin.
11. Characteristics Of A Godly Marriage (1 Peter 3:1–7)
The wife is commanded to submit to the Lord, not to her husband in his sin. There is no passage that supports submitting to sin or to abuse. The wife is to honor the Lord in her attitude, not in condoning sin or enabling sin. In this passage also we can see that the husband is commanded to live with his wife in an understanding way. He is to care for her, to lay down his life for her. He is called to be her protector. All of this must be done so that his prayers are not hindered. God values the representation of marriage in how it is a living breathing example of salvation: the church loving and following Christ, and Christ giving Himself up for His Bride.
This illustration is only seen in Complementarianism. Ultimately, egalitarianism is a slippery eisgetical slope. I could tell she was caught between a rock and a hard place, and her sincere heart-cry was to do the biblical, right thing—even if it was going to be uncomfortable. For now, I just want share HOW you can simply walk it out and maintain a peaceful home when your husband makes a decision you completely disagree with.
Please read this post instead. I have a very different and specific message for you. In fact, in many ways I was the opposite. I used to have some very different values about marriage, womanhood, and faith until I became sold out for Jesus in It was for me, too. I get to be led by the Spirit of God in all of my relationships. If you really struggle with this, as I did, I encourage you to seek God for wisdom on your own journey to honoring your man. He will guide you tenderly and personally— and give you revelation that will set you free, too. Meanwhile, I want to give you some practical tools to help you navigate the waters of marriage when submission is hard.
The enemy loves to ensnare us in offense and distraction so we take our eyes off of Jesus. Focus resolutely on the Lord, His Word, and the condition of your heart. Pray for your husband, yourself, and everyone else involved without agenda. Pray for blessings and grace, healing and salvation over each person.
These are the purest forms of prayer you can offer up. If you have a respectful relationship with your husband and you often discuss issues and make decisions as partners, then state your case. BUT— do it respectfully, unemotionally, and logically. Plan your words in advance rather than responding impulsively in the moment.
The more respectfully, succinctly, and thoughtfully you present your opinion, the better he will receive and consider it.
Bring your ideas to him with soft, gentle eyes and a relaxed countenance. Yes, even if you disagree. After all—none of us want to be the quarrelsome wife. We want to be the wife more valuable than rubies. This is NOT the time to give your husband the silent treatment, sulk, or withhold sex to make a statement. I believe the mature woman can and should rise above this behavior.
If something needs to change, let God work it out. Let God speak to and guide your husband. He is the Creator of the Universe, after all. For now, win your husband over with sacrificial respect, love, and honor. I read a book on this many years ago that kicked my butt, but taught me so much and really improved my relationship with my husband. Not an easy read, but a life-changing one. Now is the time to press in to the Lord and allow Him to carry you through this season. Take advantage of your current difficulty, frustration, overwhelm, fear, or any other negative emotion and take it all before the throne of grace where you WILL find mercy in your time of need Hebrews This is between you and your Heavenly Father.